I don't want to make excuses for my lack of motivation. My complete procrastination and seeming disinterest.

It's just so hard to get yourself to do anything when you suddenly realise that you're in a situation where nothing you do matters.

Sadly, this happens right after you graduate. You're oldest brothers 21st birthday. And three days before you're thousands of miles away from home.

It's hard to get going when you feel that the people most important to you stopped caring where you're destination was.

And now I keep wasting my time because I can't get the motivation to work for myself. Not even after three years.